Today I got to take Mo to his first visit with his mama in the community. She has had visits with him that are motioned by DHS and at a specified location, but this was the first time that it is supervised by a friend of his mamas (who is approved by DHS) in her home!
The only word I have to describe the emotion I saw and experienced from his mama when I met her at the coffee shop was pure JOY. She was BEAMING! She was so excited and even giddy!
Driving to the meet up point I was overcome with this emotion and excitement for her. This is the first time she will have him in the car with her and they will drive together somewhere. This is the first time that she will have him at her home. This is the first time that she gets to truly feel what (sort of) real life is like with a baby in tow. This is the first time that she gets to just have her friend and her and her baby, instead of a DHS worker with a badge and strict rules. This is her first taste of true freedom with her son. And I am SO excited for her! So proud, so thankful and so joyful.
But along with the excitement is a twinge of pain. This babe has been in our care for 8 months. He has only ever been watched by us, close friends of ours, and DHS workers. That’s it. He’s been ours with our people. To have a total stranger supervising causes protective mama bear to come out a bit. As that twinge of fear and pain and protectiveness comes up it is met by the Holy Spirit calming me, calling me in closer to a deeper trust. Jesus reminds me that Mo is HIS son first and foremost. And when I don’t go with him, the Holy Spirit does. Even though I’m not there to watch and listen and hover, I can trust the He loves Mo even more than I do! He is there, He will protect him.
So I loosen my grip a bit and I head to Home Depot for subway tile to complete a project we’ve been working on for a while… since I now have 4 hours without a baby around!